The Emotional Cost of Growth & What Internal Conflict Really Feels Like
I have a confession.
When I decided to leave my career industry after a decade, after having reach the very top only to still find a dissatisfaction - it wasn’t a clear switch.
Yes, I officially dropped my titles.
I officially closed my company.
BUT the internal struggle between leaving my career behind and stepping into a new perspective took time. Nearly 6 months later, several months into a new shift - I found moments where I casually browsed open positions in the very industry I left.
The money looked really good to me.
It called my attention, and opened up some inspired thoughts about what I could do with the extra income.
…and almost as quickly as those urges came, so did the feelings of misalignment.
I was well qualified for the roles, some reaching as high as $250,000 per year, but with a disharmonious amount of responsibility. Every single time, I swiped the hiring apps closed, and gave myself a moment to remember why I left.
Honestly, it’s enticing.
Knowing that we’re capable, and that the money would be nice, still doesn’t mean there’s an alignment internally. I learned the hard way that it doesn’t matter who you work with, what your title says, or how much income you make…….nothing compares to the extreme symptoms of burnout and misalignment in our lives.
When we feel these alarming symptoms of depression, dread, and procrastination…it’s a sign that we’re moving in a way that’s not completely aligned. It’s not a sign of being broken.
It’s a sign that you’re walking through thick mud - energetically…instead of a nicely paved sidewalk.
It’s meant to feel deeply uncomfortable, so that the friction causes you to go in another direction.
That’s what friction is in our lives, it’s an opportunity to struggle just enough so that we choose another route.
I used to think burnout was just part of being successful. Like it was the tax you paid to prove you were driven.
But then I learned something deeper…scientifically and spiritually. Burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s what happens when your nervous system stays in survival mode for too long, working from a place of performance and pressure instead of purpose.
When we do things that go against our core values or intuitive knowing, even if they look good on paper, our body starts to speak up. Chronic misalignment activates the brain’s stress response system: the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis. That’s the biological pathway responsible for stress regulation. When triggered constantly, it floods our system with cortisol, the stress hormone, which over time drains our energy, dulls our joy, and disrupts everything from sleep to immunity to emotional regulation.
And that feeling? The heavy sadness? That’s your brain’s default mode network calling out. Neuroscience shows that when we’re in misaligned work…work that doesn’t spark creativity, purpose, or autonomy—we’re more prone to rumination and depressive thought patterns. Our brain literally starts to “loop” on the thought that something’s off, even if we can’t name it clearly.
It’s not weakness. It’s wisdom.
So if you're feeling the fog, the fatigue, the pull toward your phone to job search for something that looks better but feels the same…pause. Not everything that shines is gold. And not every opportunity is for you.
Scholarly Sources
Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P. (2016). Understanding the burnout experience: recent research and its implications for psychiatry. World Psychiatry, 15(2), 103–111. https://doi.org/10.1002/wps.20311
This peer-reviewed article explores the causes and consequences of burnout, linking it to chronic workplace misalignment and value disconnection.
McEwen, B. S. (2006). Protective and damaging effects of stress mediators: Central role of the brain. Dialogues in Clinical Neuroscience, 8(4), 367–381.
McEwen explains how chronic stress and cortisol dysregulation affect both mental and physical health, especially when the body is in sustained states of misalignment or overexertion.
